Unfortunately, this is all too common. A parent shows up late to pick up the child for visitation or drops the child off late from visitation. Sometimes a parent does not show up at all.
It’s much more than being discourteous.
Both scenarios are harmful and disruptive to the child.
Of course, there may be legitimate reasons why a parent might not be able to follow the schedule on a given day. Work commitments, traffic and illness are the three most common I hear. If it happens here and there, it should be excused.
But when it’s a pattern, it’s a problem.
A parent who routinely arrives 15 minutes to an hour late for visitation causes disappointment to the child who senses that the visits are not a priority. It also interrupts the child’s schedule (i.e. dinner, extra-curricular activities). Of course, dropping off the child late is just as bad – especially during the week as it interferes with homework and sleep.
I suggest a two-step approach.
1. Have a civil discussion with the visiting parent about the importance of following a routine. Emphasize why this is best for the child. Discuss alternatives and the reasons why there have been issues of non-compliance. Oh and this chat should never occur in the presence of the child.
2. If the visiting parent is either unable or unwilling to follow the court orders the then Parenting Plan should be changed. In order to do so, a Motion to Modify must be filed in Family Court.
The Case Management Date in a Connecticut divorce is the way the court tracks a case.
There is a 90-day waiting period to obtain a divorce in Connecticut. The Case Management Date will be right after that period expires. Theoretically, this is the earliest possible date you can dissolve your marriage. However, in most courts, it is a few weeks after that to get your uncontested divorce.
Sometimes you have to appear in court on your Case Management Date and other times you don’t.
If you have an agreement on all issues (uncontested) then you do not need to appear. When only financial issues are in dispute, (limited contested) you do not need to appear in court if there is an understanding on a schedule of exchanging financial records and other discovery issues. However, even though you do not appear in court, you must file a Case Management Agreement for either type of case.
If there are parenting disputes the parties and their attorneys are required to appear in court on the Case Management Date. At that time, the judge will consider appointing a guardian ad litem and/or ordering a Family Relations Study.
Do not ignore this date – there are some judges dismissing cases for failing to follow the proper procedure.
Please email me or call (203) 259-5251 if you would like more information on the Case Management Date for a Connecticut divorce.
The policy of Connecticut DCF is to protect the health and welfare of children. We must all agree that a child’s safety is paramount.
To this end, there is a Hotline, which receives reports of suspected neglect and abuse. Anyone who makes a report in good faith and has reasonable grounds for making the report has immunity from criminal or civil liability. This encourages reporting and in turn protects our children.
But what about when someone makes a false reports to Connecticut DCF?
I get calls all the time from frustrated parents who are subjected to a DCF Investigation because of a bogus complaint.
What can be done?
For starters, it’s a crime to knowingly make a false report to the Hotline. The penalty is a fine of not more than $2,000 or imprisonment of not more than one year or both. I have encouraged clients to file a police report when the Investigation was done with malicious intent.
Get answers to these questions:
1. Who made the report? People who falsely report always remain anonymous. The state is required to disclose to law enforcement the identity of the person who made the false report but unfortunately they rarely do.
2. Did DCF conclude it was false?
3. Did the reporter know it was false? Basically, this amounts to fabrication. If they had any basis at all, the police will take no action.
There may also be potential civil actions available to the injured party. These are factually dependent based on the unique facts of the case.
Please contact me if you have questions about false reports to Connecticut DCF.
Probate Courts in Connecticut have exclusive jurisdiction to handle stepparent adoptions. We know that many stepparents have a parent like relationship with their spouse’s child. They spend lots of time together and do all the things those parents and children enjoy. The child loves and trusts the stepparent and even calls them “mom” or “dad.”
But legally speaking, the relationship is not recognized.
So how does a biological parent get their spouse to adopt his or her child in Connecticut?
There are two steps in the process.
1. Termination of parental rights hearing. If the other biological parent is alive, his or her parental rights must be terminated. Sometimes the parent will voluntarily agree to relinquish their rights. This is especially true if the parent has another family of their own, has no ongoing relationship with the child or wants to wiggle out of paying child support. But many times the parent does not consent to the termination. In that case, the judge must conduct a trial to determine whether there are legally sufficient grounds to terminate. Termination of parental rights is never an automatic and is clearly the more challenging step. This hearing is adversarial.
2. Adoption hearing. This step is much more straightforward. Once the child is legally free to be adopted, the Probate Court will hold a hearing to decide if the stepparent adoption is in the child’s best interest. If the adoption is granted, a new birth certificate will be issued and a change in the child’s name can be requested. This hearing is a non-adversarial and a happy occasion.
Moving out before or during a divorce in Connecticut. This is a common question.
There are three considerations:
Your protection. If your spouse is volatile, violent and you legitimately fear for your physical safety you should get out. Make temporary living arrangements. Then apply for a Restraining Order.
If there are no concerns for your physical well-being but the living situation is intolerable, you can file a Motion for Exclusive Possession of the Residence as part of your divorce filing. This is a request that the judge kick your spouse out while the case is pending.
The flip side of all this is leaving to avoid the classic “set up.” This happens when a spouse decides to cook up false allegations while having the police on speed dial. If you have a vengeful spouse, pack your bags before you end up in the back of a squad car.
Your children. Many parents worry about leaving the home because a judge will think that they abandoned the family. Not true. In fact, the Connecticut “best interest” statute states that when deciding custody the judge may consider favorably a parent who voluntarily leaves the child’s family home in order to alleviate stress in the household.
Your finances. Obviously when the parties live apart, there is less money available. Think about whether it is possible (or practical) to maintain two households. But don’t worry about whether leaving means you are waiving claims to the property as part of your final divorce. You are not. Possession is not ownership. The judge can award the property to either party when you get divorced or order the house sold – regardless of who was living there.
A mother who tragically lost her son in 2008 is attempting to pass a law allowing the public greater access to DCF records.
Here is a summary:
Mother petitions to change laws after son dies by babysitter – WFSB 3 Connecticut
The proposal is excessively broad. Not only does it seek information about abusers and those who have been neglectful but also seeks information about people who have simply been reported to DCF even though the were unfounded.
Not a chance.
In addition, the proposal clashes with long standing state and federal laws, which protect confidentiality. Those laws would have to be repealed or amended in some fashion.
That’s not happening.
I know the mother is well intentioned and that she seeks positive change. The goal is to protect children – and I clearly support that.
But this will never pass.