Unfortunately, this is all too common. A parent shows up late to pick up the child for visitation or drops the child off late from visitation. Sometimes a parent does not show up at all.

It’s much more than being discourteous.

Both scenarios are harmful and disruptive to the child.

Of course, there may be legitimate reasons why a parent might not be able to follow the schedule on a given day. Work commitments, traffic and illness are the three most common I hear. If it happens here and there, it should be excused.

But when it’s a pattern, it’s a problem.

A parent who routinely arrives 15 minutes to an hour late for visitation causes disappointment to the child who senses that the visits are not a priority. It also interrupts the child’s schedule (i.e. dinner, extra-curricular activities). Of course, dropping off the child late is just as bad – especially during the week as it interferes with homework and sleep.

I suggest a two-step approach.

1. Have a civil discussion with the visiting parent about the importance of following a routine. Emphasize why this is best for the child. Discuss alternatives and the reasons why there have been issues of non-compliance. Oh and this chat should never occur in the presence of the child.

2. If the visiting parent is either unable or unwilling to follow the court orders the then Parenting Plan should be changed. In order to do so, a Motion to Modify must be filed in Family Court.

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