This a pretty common question. Truth is a minor child (under age 18) in Connecticut does not decide when or if they want to visit with a parent. Same is true for which parent they want to live with. A judge always decides. Even when parents agree to a particular Parenting Plan, it is always subject to a review and must be specifically approved by a judge to become an order.
The other day in court I heard a parent tell a judge that her son is 12 and it’s his “right” not to go on the visit with his father. That didn’t go over well.
This is not to suggest that the Family Court does not consider a child’s wishes on custody or visitation. We do. In fact, our “best interest” statute states that in making or modifying a custody or visitation order the judge may consider “any relevant information obtained from the child, including the informed preferences of the child.”
The key word there is informed. Obviously, the weight given to the child’s preferences must take into account the age and maturity of the child as well the reasons behind the preference. For example, while a judge may listen closely to a mature 16 year-old not so for a younger child whose preferences lack insight and logic.
In Connecticut, we listen to children but we don’t simply allow them to dictate what the visitation or custody order should be.
When someone passes away in Connecticut, the local Probate Court oversees the estate. In short, the Probate Court makes sure debts are paid and property is distributed to beneficiaries (if there is a will) or to heirs (if there is no will).
Sounds easy enough and for many estates it is relatively straightforward. But as you might imagine, the bigger estate the more likely it is that issues arise.
Here is a summary of the estate administration process:
1. Open an estate in the Probate Court by filing an Application along with the will and death certificate. The Court will appoint an Executor (will) or Administrator (no will). This is the individual responsible for filing documents on time and fulfilling the obligations of the estate. Some consider this an honor; others a burden.
2. Gather all assets and have them valued. An Inventory must be completed and filed within two months.
3. Settle debts and pay expenses of the estate. After five months, the Executor must file a list of claims and expenses with the Court.
4. File tax returns. State of Connecticut return must be filed even if no tax is due. Federal Tax Returns may need to be filed if the estate is over $2 million.
5. Distribute estate assets. The Executor is required to file a Final Accounting requesting the Court’s approval to distribute the remaining estate assets after the payment of expenses. The Court must hold a hearing in case there are any objections to the proposed distribution.
Divorce and prenuptial agreements seem like dirty words.
That’s one reason why an engaged couple does not consider, let alone sign, a prenup.
Another reason is that most people think that prenuptial agreements are just for the wealthy. Sure, people with large incomes and sizeable assets clearly benefit from a prenup. But prenups offer advantages to those with even modest incomes or estates. Or really for those with even less than that.
In fact, prenuptial agreements serve a very practical purpose for just about anyone contemplating marriage.
Here are some overlooked considerations and advantages:
If drafted properly, these agreements clarify the financial responsibilities of each party during the marriage as well as govern the distribution of any property in the event of divorce or death of one the spouses.
Death benefits as part of life insurance policies and the right of a spouse to participate under retirement plans are often topics covered in a prenuptial agreement.
Prenuptial agreements often contain an alimony schedule or eliminate spousal support altogether.
These agreements help estate planning by determining how property will be passed on to children from a previous marriage.
But there are certain areas that are out of bounds. For example, prenuptial agreements cannot cover the care, custody or visitation of children. In addition, the right of a child to support from a parent cannot be adversely affected by the terms of a premarital agreement.
Of course, some think that prenups are expensive. However, this pales in comparision to extensive and costly divorce litigation if you don’t have a prenup.
There are really three divorce options in Connecticut:
1. Mediation is a process in which a divorcing couple attempts to resolve their disputes with the assistance of a neutral third party. A mediator is usually an attorney with significant family law experience who has training in dispute resolution.
Many spouses retain separate attorneys to review the mediator’s recommendations and to answer questions about the process. However, spouses participate in mediation without the direct involvement of attorneys.
2. Collaborative divorce is a relatively new option. It is really a middle of the road approach. Both spouses retain attorneys who participate directly in negotiation. However, the lawyers pledge to abide by certain guidelines designed to make this approach less adversarial than traditional litigation. In essence, each spouse has an advocate but the process is outside of the court system.
But not every case is well suited for mediation or collaborative divorce. For example, both spouses must be transparent about their finances and agree to participate in a meaningful way for either to work. Therefore, if there is no cooperation then traditional litigation may be the only alternative.
3. Litigation really means that the parties are using the court to resolve disagreements. This approach is used to obtain temporary orders regarding custody and support.
This may seem obvious but even if you do mediation or the collaborative approach you still must go to Court for at least one appearance. Only a judge can approve the terms of a Separation Agreement and grant a divorce.
It used to be that drawn out and expensive litigation was the only option for a divorcing couple in Connecticut. Now there are alternatives.
Please contact me to discuss your divorce options in Connecticut.
Review counsel in a Connecticut divorce has become more prevalent as a growing number of divorcing couples are opting for divorce mediation as a way of resolving their disputes. Mediation is often much less adversarial and therefore usually more cost effective.
However, the mediation process does not necessarily eliminate the need for the parties to retain a lawyer. In fact, many mediators strongly encourage spouses to engage their own lawyer known as review counsel.
Here is how review counsel can help:
During mediation
- Help prepare for mediation negotiations. The more information you have the more effectively you can advocate your position during settlement negotiations.
- Identify issues particular to your case and provide a range of possible legal outcomes.
- After the mediator drafts the Separation Agreement, review counsel can make sure its fair. This is especially important since the mediator does not represent either party. Their role is to get you to the finish line.
- Explain the terms so that you have a complete understanding. The mediator cannot give legal advice.
- Offer additional language and other suggestions, which you should incorporate into the Agreement.
After mediation
- Review counsel may assist in preparing all the necessary documents for your uncontested divorce.
- In some instances, they will also appear in court for your final hearing.
Retaining review counsel is obviously not required. However, this option is becoming is increasing in popularity. It is usually worth the investment since the cost is a fraction of the fee paid to attorneys in traditional divorce litigation.
Stamford and Fairfield Divorce and Review Counsel
I represent clients in Connecticut Family Court proceedings though out Fairfield County including Easton, Fairfield, Monroe, Trumbull, Stratford, Bridgeport, Westport, Weston, New Canaan, Wilton, Norwalk, Darien, Stamford and Greenwich.
Please email me or call me in Stamford at (203) 356-1475 or in Fairfield at (203) 259-5251 if you would like more information on how review counsel can help during divorce mediation.
This article sets forth the most common reasons why spouses struggle with the decision on whether or not to divorce:
To be sure, the decision to end a marriage is certainly not to be taken lightly. The decision in many instances will shape lives forever. Therefore, a divorce should only be filed when alternatives have been considered (i.e. trial separation. marital counseling) and there is no reasonable hope of reconciliation.
Here are some common reasons why spouses put off filing:
1. Financial concerns of maintaining two households.
2. Worry about seeing their children less and how they will adjust to the parent’s splitting.
3. The chance that the marriage can be salvaged and the other spouse will change certain behavior.
4. The psychological effects of a failed marriage and the perceived social stigma that may come with it.