Retaining an attorney can be expensive.
But not retaining an attorney can be costly.
Let it go. The biggest factor in reducing legal fees is failing to “let it go.” This clearly does not mean that you should be a push over or that you should not do battle when appropriate. It means letting go of disappointment of the failed relationship and the hostility you feel toward your spouse.
Harboring anger and resentment will delay the resolution of your divorce case. It will cloud your judgment and will in turn make settlement difficult, if not impossible. And foolish attempts to make his or her life miserable will cost you a small fortune in legal fees.
Avoid “sticker shock.” Always be aware of the terms of the Retainer Agreement with your lawyer. This Agreement should set forth the hourly rate, the amount of the initial retainer, when additional retainers will be required, costs of litigation and what tasks the attorney will bill for.
Most attorneys require an advance retainer and this retainer is deposited in a Trustee Account. The attorney then bills against the retainer amount and withdraws the money as fees are earned. So, treat the retainer as you would a debit or credit card (actually treat it with more care). Use it, but use it wisely. And do not go over your credit limit.
There are hundreds (maybe thousands) of lawyers who practice divorce and family law in Connecticut. With so many choices, it is important to find the lawyer best suited for your particular case.
There are four primary areas to consider:
1. Credentials. Is the attorney an active member of the family law sections through bar associations? Has the lawyer been subject of bar discipline? Have they served as a Special Master or as an arbitrator? If there are children involved, find out if the attorney is certified to accept cases as a guardian ad litem or attorney for the minor children. Determine whether the attorney has been appointed by the court to serve as a guardian ad litem or attorney for children.
2. Experience. How much of the lawyer’s caseload is devoted to divorce or the practice of family law? How long has been practicing family law? How many cases has the attorney tried? Does the attorney practice frequently in the court where your case is pending? While no two divorces are identical, there are often common themes. The vast majority of divorce cases do settle. If a significant percentage of lawyer’s caseload ends up in trial perhaps they are not experienced in skillful negotiation. However, if a trial is inevitable, make sure your lawyer has tried cases similar to yours.
3. Personal style. Lawyers have different personalities and styles. There are lawyers that are very aggressive in their demeanor – you know the “bulldog” type. Other lawyers are agressive in their court approach – filing many motions, scheduling numerous court dates and requesting extensive documentation. Still other lawyers are more settlement oriented. Find a lawyer with the right philosophy for you. In addition, you should feel comfortable on a personal level. Do they explain things well leaving aside the legal jargon? Do they relate well to you and treat you with respect? Will they keep you informed as to the status of your case?
4. Affordability. Cost is a factor for many clients. Most divorce attorneys require an advance legal retainer, which they bill against at their hourly rate. Some attorneys will take into account the client’s financial means when deciding the initial retainer and hourly rate. There are even a few attorneys who will accept cases on a flat fee basis (i.e. an uncontested divorce for a set amount). Regardless of what was discussed with the attorney, always get a Retainer Agreement setting forth the scope of representation and how fees are determined.
Many people think of beer and fishing as two things that go hand-in-hand. In reality though, drunk boating is just as dangerous – and just as illegal – as drunk driving.
Earlier this month, a Connecticut man was sentenced to more than three years in jail after a boating accident that claimed the life of one of his friends. According to police reports, the man had a blood-alcohol level more than four times the legal limit when he crashed his boat into a seawall. One passenger was killed and two others were injured
In the wake of the deadly crash, the man pleaded no contest to charges that included assault, reckless endangerment and manslaughter with a vessel while under the influence.
Drinking and Boating Never Mix
Sadly, accidents like this one will continue to occur unless people begin to understand the true risks of boating while intoxicated.
According to the U.S. Coast Guard, intoxicated boating accidents claimed the lives of at least 126 Americans in 2010. Another 293 suffered significant personal injuries.
Part of the threat comes from the fact that boats are much harder to control than other motor vehicles. Boats can weigh as much, if not more, than passenger cars, but they do not have brakes and cannot be maneuvered as quickly. To make matters worse, most bodies of water do not have signs and lanes directing boaters into orderly traffic patterns.
Connecticut boaters must also understand that spending time outside in the sun magnifies the effects of alcohol. Many boaters don’t realize how impaired they are until it is too late.
If you’re going to be heading out on the water this summer, make a point to avoid alcohol. Staying sober can help you avoid a dangerous accident.
How is marital property divided in a Connecticut divorce? Connecticut courts follow an equitable distribution approach. To be more specific, Connecticut follows “an all property equitable distribution scheme.”
This means that at the time of the divorce or legal separation, the court can assign either spouse any or all of the property of the other regardless of how title is held or when the property was acquired.
In deciding property distribution, a Connecticut divorce court will consider the following factors:
- Length of the marriage;
- Causes for the divorce or separation;
- Age, health and occupation of the parties;
- Amount and sources of incomes;
- Vocational skills and employability of the parties;
- Liabilities and needs of the parties;
- Opportunity for future acquisition of assets and income; and
- Contributions of each party in the acquisition, preservation or appreciation in the value of property.
A few points.
Equitable does not mean equal. Equitable essentially means fair. Therefore, judges can, and sometimes do, allocate more assets to one spouse.
A misconception exists that assets received through inheritances are not part of the marital estate. Not true. Inheritances are part of the marital estate and subject to being distributed upon divorce.
Another misconception is that a spouse automatically retains what he or she brought into the marriage. There is no absolute right to keep what you came into the marriage with.
These two “misconceptions” illustrate why it is often a wise decision to execute a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement.
I recently did a blog on how to co-parent with a jerk. Here it is: Tips for co-parenting with a jerk
But these tips do not always work.
Another option is to scrap the concept of co-parenting altogether and try parallel parenting. What is parallel parenting? I must admit I had not heard of it until I came across this article: Virginia Gilbert, MFT: What to Do When Co-Parenting Doesn’t Work
Co-parenting does not work in all cases and is especially difficult in high conflict families. After efforts at co-parenting have failed, try to limit contact with your ex. That’s the premise behind parallel parenting. It does not mean that you should be less involved with your children – just less involved with your angry ex. Less face to face confrontations, more paper trails with email. Less phone calls, more text messages. You get the idea.
I am a little skeptical about this concept but the article above has two good points:
1. Do not respond to threats of lawsuits or the filing of motions. Refer your ex to your attorney. In addition to providing legal guidance, a lawyer acting as a “buffer” between you and your former spouse can be invaluable.
2. Don’t sweat the small stuff. There are certain parenting issues which you will have little control over. For example, bedtime, discipline and what video games your child is playing when with the other parent. So, let that stuff go. Stay tuned to the truly important matters such as how the child is doing academically, socially, emotionally and physically.
The higher the family conflict the more detailed a Parenting Plan needs to be. Times, dates, events all need to be carefully spelled out. Liberal and flexible schedules will not work. In extreme cases of hostility between parents, judges will award one parent sole legal custody (rather than joint cusotdy) to avoid inevitable disagreements regarding decision making.
Here are few tips on how to avoid being the victim of road rage:
1. Always be polite and courteous. I know it is not easy. But if you follow this one tip you will significantly decrease the chance that you will be involved in a road rage accident.
2. Do not retaliate. Again – easier said than done. Who isn’t tempted to give an annoying driver a one-finger salute on occasion? Avoid it. Matters will only escalate.
3. Avoid eye contact with the other driver. It will be perceived as a challenge. Once you lock eyes its game on.
4. Do not underestimate how #$%*’ing crazy other drivers can be! You have no idea who that other person behind the wheel is or what they are capable of.
5. If a raged up driver follows you, drive to the nearest police station or use your cell phone to call law enforcement. Do not pull over in an attempt to rationalize with the lunatic.
A driver who causes an automobile accident in Connecticut because of road rage may be more than negligent – they could be considered reckless. If found to be reckless, there are hefty consequences. For example, in addition to compensatory damages, the raged driver could be ordered to pay double or even triple damages.
Be smart and be safe out there.
Please contact me if you have been the victim of a road rage car accident in Connecticut.