In November 2008, Connecticut legalized same sex marriage. So, now that Connecticut recognizes same marriages how are same sex divorces handled?
As a general rule, the procedure and the law which is applied in a same sex divorce is similar to a “traditional” Connecticut divorce. The differences that do arise have to do with federal law.
In 1996, the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) was enacted. This act specifically defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman. Therefore, federal law does not recognize same sex marriages. As a result, same sex divorces may differ from “traditional divorces” in the following ways:
1. Social Security. A same sex spouse is not entitled to survivor benefits.
2. Retirement Plans. Certain retirement plans, like a federal pension, may not allow a distribution to a same sex spouse.
3. Child custody. If a parent relocates to a state that does not recognize same sex marriage, custody orders may not be enforced and the collection of child support difficult.
4. Alimony/spousal support. Alimony is taxable to the recipient and a “write off” to the payor. The IRS however has no regulations to address the tax consequences of alimony in the context of a same sex divorce.
Although the laws in Connecticut do not distinguish between a same sex divorce and “traditional” divorce, it is vital to understand the impact of federal law when negotiating a same sex divorce settlement.
I get it.
In some Connecticut divorces, emotions flare. So naturally, it’s time to fan those flames and dial up the “bulldog” lawyer.
The kind that won’t take bull$h!t from your spouse and their lawyer.
The kind that will be “aggressive” and nail your soon to be ex.
The kind that will take the case to trial and won’t be intmidated by considering their f’in insulting settlement offer.
You want your pound of flesh (and the blood that goes with it).
Hey – that’s your call. Just be prepared to pay much more coin than you need to.
And if ever the “sticker shock” wears off, I trust you will have serious reservations. You might even realize that your result was no better (and maybe worse) than a more settlement focused approach could have yielded
Here’s a great blog on an aggressive divorce lawyer:
If you want an expensive divorce – get an aggressive lawyer « Bluegrass Family Law
To be sure, there are contested divorce cases that legitimately need to proceed to trial. But the vast majority should settle.
Think settle first and trial as a last resort. That’s the mindset.
You aren’t soft for doing so.
Parenting Plans in Connecticut can vary greatly. Some are quite detailed – others just cover the basics.
So, what are the essential elements of Parenting Plan?
At a minimum, every Parenting Plan in Connecticut should address the following:
- Legal custody and other decision making responsbilities concerning education, medical, religious upbringing and any other important matters specific to the family;
- Residential custody and other parenting time arrangements;
- A schedule for vacations, holidays and other important dates and events;
- How and when the parents will communicate about matters affecting the child;
- Third party child care arrangements;
- Conflict resolution such as mediation or co-parenting counseling;
- Transportation of the child between the parent’s homes; and
- How disciplinary matters will be handled.
Sure, there are particular cases which require that the Parenting Plan deal with other matters and address very specific issues.
But for many families the above list just about does it.
There are two standards in Connecticut for relocating with children depending on the stage of the case.
At the time a divorce is entered, a parent may leave Connecticut and relocate with the child if a judge finds that such a move is in the child’s best interest.
When a custodial parent seeks to relocate after a divorce is finalized, the relocating parent must satisfy certain criteria set forth in Connecticut General Statutes 46b-56d.
Here’s a blog about the requirements for relocation post-divorce: Relocating with children after a divorce – the law in Connecticut – Bridgeport, CT Metro/Family and Personal Injury Law Blog
A recent case in Norwich highlights how a judge might analyze a proposed move at the time of divorce.
The mother requested permission to relocate to Tennessee. She had family support there with free housing and childcare.
The father objected since he would it be difficult for him to establish a bond with his 18 month old daughter from a distance.
The judge allowed the mother to move citing the economic benefits of the move and because the mother agreed to generous and flexible with visitation.
How is marital property divided in a Connecticut divorce? Connecticut courts follow an equitable distribution approach. To be more specific, Connecticut follows “an all property equitable distribution scheme.”
This means that at the time of the divorce or legal separation, the court can assign either spouse any or all of the property of the other regardless of how title is held or when the property was acquired.
In deciding property distribution, a Connecticut divorce court will consider the following factors:
- Length of the marriage;
- Causes for the divorce or separation;
- Age, health and occupation of the parties;
- Amount and sources of incomes;
- Vocational skills and employability of the parties;
- Liabilities and needs of the parties;
- Opportunity for future acquisition of assets and income; and
- Contributions of each party in the acquisition, preservation or appreciation in the value of property.
A few points.
Equitable does not mean equal. Equitable essentially means fair. Therefore, judges can, and sometimes do, allocate more assets to one spouse.
A misconception exists that assets received through inheritances are not part of the marital estate. Not true. Inheritances are part of the marital estate and subject to being distributed upon divorce.
Another misconception is that a spouse automatically retains what he or she brought into the marriage. There is no absolute right to keep what you came into the marriage with.
These two “misconceptions” illustrate why it is often a wise decision to execute a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement.
Conn. Gen. Stat. § 46b-40(c) sets forth the grounds for a divorce in Connecticut:
- The marriage has broken down irretrievably;
- The parties have lived apart by reason of incompatibility for a continuous period of at least the eighteen months immediately prior to the service of the complaint and that there is no reasonable prospect that they will be reconciled;
- Adultery;
- Fraudulent contract;
- Wilful desertion for one year with total neglect of duty;
- Seven years’ absence, during all of which period the absent party has not been heard from;
- Habitual intemperance;
- Intolerable cruelty;
- Sentence to imprisonment for life or the commission of any infamous crime involving a violation of conjugal duty and punishable by imprisonment for a period in excess of one year;
- Legal confinement in a hospital or hospitals or other similar institution or institutions, because of mental illness, for at least an accumulated period totaling five years within the period of six years next preceding the date of the complaint.
In 1973, Connecticut adopted “no fault” divorce – irretrievable breakdown. This simply means that a judge is not required to make a finding as to which spouse is at fault for the divorce. This allows uncontested divorces to be granted without fanfare.
But this does not mean that fault is never an issue in a Connecticut divorce, especially for those cases that go to trial.
In fact, fault may be relevant to a judge in terms of alimony, property distribution and the assignment of debts/liabilities. When fault impacts parental fitness, it becomes important in determining custody, visitation and an overall parenting plan.