I just listened to a great discussion online about Parenting Plans. Specifically, it focused on the following:
Elements of a good Parenting Plan;
Parenting Plan ideas; and
Co-parenting through conflict.
The segment is about 35 minutes but well worth the time.
Here’s the link:
The notion is, when feasible, each parent should spend a significant amount participating in the child’s life experiences. Or, put another way, both parents should be involved in a meaningful way with the child. Each parent should participate in the child’s activities, social events, school related functions, educational pursuits, medical appointments and discipline.
This means being an active parent – not a visiting resource. This is why courts have adopted the terms “parenting time” and “parental access” and have moved away from using visitation. Visitation is the way a child spends time with a parent who is in jail.
Of course, there are circumstances where a parent will not (or maybe should not) be actively involved. For example, if there are issues concerning domestic violence, substance abuse and/or mental health. And, if the parents live a great distance apart, it is only logical that one parent be designated the primary residential parent.
Final thought. If parents can remember two things, just two things, conflict can be minimized and an effective Parenting Plan can be created:
1. Do not focus on the other parent’s behavior. Instead take responsibility for your own actions; and
2. It’s not what’s best for the parent but rather what’s best for the child. After all, it’s about the kids stupid!