Check this out:
Natalie Gregg: Divorce Readiness Questionnaire
How about that? A questionnaire that tells you if you are headed for divorce court or whether the marriage can be saved.
I agree with the author that family lawyers should not be “selling” divorce. Clients should come to us when they are ready to divorce or at least strongly considering it. Divorce lawyers can provide general guidance as to what they might expect in terms of an outcome, how long the process will take and the cost involved. But they cannot (at least they should not) tell you whether to divorce.
Your divorce lawyer should not be your therapist.
Therefore, if you are not emotionally ready for a divorce then you should engage in marital therapy (you and your spouse) or individual therapy (just for you). Get prepared emotionally. Make a decision. Then see a few lawyers for a consultations.
Another thought: How can all the responses be weighed equally? For example, if you answer yes to #7 (being romantically involved with someone else) it would seem that would be much more indicative of trouble in the marriage than say #2 (I have not had sex with my spouse in a month).
Best point about the article is that you may not love your spouse anymore but he or she will remain part of your life if you have kids. Respect him or her as a parent.
Your children deserve that.