Divorce mediation is a process in which a divorcing couple attempts to resolve their outstanding issues with the assistance of a neutral third party (divorce mediator). A divorce mediator is typically an attorney with a family law background and training in dispute resolution.
Divorce mediation may or not be appropriate for your case.
The advantages of Divorce Mediation
1) Relaxed environment. Mediation sessions usually take place in the mediator’s office. The setting is more relaxed and informal than appearing in court in front of a judge.
2) Cost. Promoters of mediation usually market the process as being less expensive than a litigated divorce. This may be true in some cases but not true in others. The answer turns on the extent of the litigation. A fully contested divorce involving custody of children, significant assets, property claims and other financial considerations will be expensive by most standards; especially if the case ultimately goes to trial.
3) Pirvacy. There is more family privacy in mediation. Obviously, the sessions are not open to the public as most court proceedings are. In addition, the negotiations are confidential.
4) Quicker resolution. Some courthouses have a heavy docket of family cases. Therefore, mediating your issue(s) may provide a more timely resolution rather than enduring litigation.
Consider these additional factors
1) Will your spouse cooperate? Both spouses need to participate in a cooperative and meaningful way. If one spouse is opposed (or even reluctant) to mediation it probably will not be effective. In addition, if a spouse refuses to be transparent with their finances mediation will not work.
2) Is your spouse violent or abusive? The dynamics of the relationship may prevent mediation. For example, if the level of animosity is high or if one of the spouses is violent, intimidating or abusive you should plan on proceeding to court rather than mediating.
3) Do you or your spouse want to “win”? A mediator is not a judge. The mediator makes recommendations; that’s it. A mediator cannot make orders nor can the mediator make demands of either of you. If you are looking to have your position validated or you want the mediator to “take sides” do not go to mediation.
Additional thoughts – consult your own lawyer
The mediator’s objective is to achieve a settlement. The mediator is not an advocate for a particular position; instead the mediator is trying to settle the case. In an effort to get a deal done your position may be compromised. You should always have an attorney review any proposal before agreeing to it. Better yet, have an attorney guide you throughout your mediation process. You should consult with your lawyer before or after a mediation session to clarify points and better prepare for further negotiations.