Child Custody in Connecticut is one of the most hotly contested issues in Family Court. A judge has the authority to decide that the child live primarily with the mother or with the father based on what is determined to be in the “best interest of the child.”
Here are a few practical tips involving child custody in Connecticut:
1) Do be the primary caretaker. There is usually one parent who is primarily responsible for daytime routine such feeding, bathing, taking the child to school or bus stop etc.
2) Don’t abuse alcohol or drugs. Abuse alcohol or use of drugs will almost guarantee that the other parent will be awarded residential custody. If the abuse is extensive seek help immediately or supervised visits may be ordered.
3) Do be involved in your child’s school and activities. Attend school conferences, help with homework, attend practices, games, recitals etc.
4) Don’t disparage the other parent. Avoid at all times making negative statements about the other parent to the child or projecting your anger toward the parent on to the child. In addition, allow the other parent access to the child and follow the current court orders. Interfering with the relationship the child has with the other parent may result in the other parent being awarded custody.
5) Do follow your attorney’s advice. You hired your attorney to guide you through the process and to maximize your chances of achieving the result you want. Your attorney has been involved in these situations before; trust their experience and insight.
6) Don’t treat the as a pawn in the process. Do not send messages to the other parent through the child. Do not use the child to “spy” on the other parent by asking what the other parent said or who the other person is seeing. This puts the child in an awful position of taking sides and dividing their loyalty. Avoid making the child part of your frustrations and struggles with the other parent.
7) Do support the relationship with the other parent. You should demonstrate to the judge that you recognize the value of child’s relationship with the other parent. This may include being flexible with your time if a scheduling conflict arises or encouraging the child to spend the time with the other parent when the child is reluctant.
8) Don’t leave a “paper trail.” Impulsive rants in an E- mail or texts may show your lack of control or anger. Photos and information on social media networks such a Facebook may show your poor judgment and potential lack of parental fitness. This information is often admissible evidence in court.
9) Do cooperate with other professionals in the case. In a contested custody case Family Relations may be ordered to conduct a Study. A court may appoint a guardian ad litem to advocate for your child’s best interests. A court may also appoint a psychologist or psychiatrist. Your cooperation and your presentation with these professionals is often crucial in terms of their perception of your credibility and parental judgement. A parent should highlight their strengths as a parent rather than focus on perceived weaknesses of the other parent when dealing with other professionals in the case.
10) Don’t involve your child in other relationships. You may have moved on. Your child has not. Do not involve your child in the relationship with your new interest. The other parent remains a parent; do not try to replace the other parent and do not introduce the child to a significant other prematurely.
Please contact me to discuss child custody in Connecticut.