This a pretty common question. Truth is a minor child (under age 18) in Connecticut does not decide when or if they want to visit with a parent. Same is true for which parent they want to live with. A judge always decides. Even when parents agree to a particular Parenting Plan, it is always subject to a review and must be specifically approved by a judge to become an order.
The other day in court I heard a parent tell a judge that her son is 12 and it’s his “right” not to go on the visit with his father. That didn’t go over well.
This is not to suggest that the Family Court does not consider a child’s wishes on custody or visitation. We do. In fact, our “best interest” statute states that in making or modifying a custody or visitation order the judge may consider “any relevant information obtained from the child, including the informed preferences of the child.”
The key word there is informed. Obviously, the weight given to the child’s preferences must take into account the age and maturity of the child as well the reasons behind the preference. For example, while a judge may listen closely to a mature 16 year-old not so for a younger child whose preferences lack insight and logic.
In Connecticut, we listen to children but we don’t simply allow them to dictate what the visitation or custody order should be.